I found that being an out-of-town grandparent who’s really connected with my grandkids starts with me. From the time my first grandchild was born, I realized no one was going to plunk her on my lap every Sunday afternoon. That was not happening. I was a miles away grandma and it was up to me to become part of her life … and the lives of my other grandchildren who arrived.
No doubt about it: the relationship begins with us grandparents. We have to face facts and work with what we have, the situation we’re in. WE have to be the ones who …
- Want an absolutely fantastic relationship with the grandchild.
- Will work on being involved in the child’s life.
- Can figure this all out, even though maybe we had no role model of an out-of-town grandparent.
- Will be loving and giving to the child’s parents and work on developing/maintaining a wonderful relationship with them.
- Are willing to learn new ways of interacting with babies, toddlers, preschoolers, and those in kindergarten or the lower grades.
- Will figure out how to keep the relationship going as the child becomes a tween.
- Have endless energy to devote to being a grandparent that the child will love.
- Will spend the money it takes to be with the grandkids as often as practical.
- Will be patient and kind.
- Will try to be as creative as possible.
In so many wonderful ways, our own attitude and resolve pay off as a beautiful relationship with the child unfolds. Sure, there are many times I feel sorry for myself and hate the distance between me and the grands — but that gets me nowhere. It’s more productive and more fun to stop feeling sorry for myself and take steps to be an important person in that child’s life no matter how far away I live.
We grandparents who are miles away can be found in airports, walking with resolve to do what it takes to get to the grandkids. We can be found at gas stations, filling the tank up to make the long drive. At home we can be found grabbing our iPad to video chat with the kids, or clipping a funny cartoon out of a magazine to mail to one of our grandkids. We are determined grandparents who know what we want and are determined to make it happen.
Say it with me: can’t stop me now!
I love to share my tips! To see 17 articles by me on how to be a good houseguest when traveling (such as Honor the House Rules), just click on this link: Grandparents Visiting.
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