Unlike in-town grandparents, you and I only have a certain amount of time to be with our grandkids. The days of our visits fly by so, of course, we want to pack into each visit as much fun and memories as we can. But therein can lay the problem. Maybe the kids want different things than we imagine.
I have done this right — and I have done this wrong. I’ll share with you what I have learned and you figure out the best for your grands (which is pretty much how my blog works).
For little ones: stay at home … or outings?
When planning any of our trips to their home, I frequently consider taking the kids for fun outings — renting a boat, going to a museum, the library, a playground they have never been to, a farmer’s market, etc. But over the years I slowly learned to not assume the kids want to go anywhere. It took me a while as a grandma to realize what the grandkids wanted/needed the most.
I finally figured out my grandkids’ need for outings has depended on their age. From a toddler to around age 8, the grands absolutely love having my husband and me at their house and they have little need for multiple or big outings.
Our grandchildren up to age 8 are perfectly happy curling up with Grandpa on the couch and reading a stack of library books. Anderson wanted to play with his collection of cars … over and over and over again. The little kids love us fixing their breakfast, especially if they could help. They were delighted when we would go in the back yard and watch them on the monkey bars and slide.
I remember how Fiona loved to play “jewelry store” with me. I made sure I packed more-than-I-needed jewelry for the trip. Fiona and I would lay the jewelry out and do imagination play, taking turns being the store owner or the shopper who was buying jewelry for friends and relatives.
These staying-at-home activities were just what they wanted and needed the most. Sure, we did outings with little ones, but sometimes we did too many and at the end of the trip I would regret not having more “at home” time with them. But naturally, if I didn’t do outings I would regret it. That’s the plight of long-distant grandparenting.
I try to remember that little ones like being at home with us the best. Sebastian is now 6 years old, and he — much more than his older siblings — likes just hanging out with us.
Important consideration: when thinking about taking a grandchild on an outing, I try to assess if they would be comfortable going away with me. Are they okay just with me when a parent leaves the room? Will they go into the back yard just with me, or take a neighborhood walk? With little ones, their familiarity with me is extremely important and I never plan an outing on the first couple of days I’m at their house. I wait and see.
What the older kids think of outings.
As our grandchildren have been growing, we realized the older ones (8-12 years old) usually have loads of enthusiasm for trips to miniature golf, restaurants, festivals, amusement parks, libraries, bowling, ferry rides, etc. They usually love to be on the go (except at the end of a school day). The grandkids frequently have some ideas for where we can go and what we can do.
When planning an outing for grandkids, we always check with the parents first before uttering a word to a grandchild. We also research any outing in advance, making sure we know what to expect, where to park, what the hours are, etc.
If we’re taking all four grandchildren, we make sure the outing has something for everyone. Sometimes we split the grandkids, such as when I take the older three to a movie and Grandpa takes Sebastian to a more age-appropriate outing.
Tip: I have been surprised at how my grandchildren love being in stores! With today’s internet buying, they don’t get much opportunity to be in stores, and apparently they enjoy stores quite a bit. Once when we were visiting, I asked if any of the kids wanted to go with Grandpa and me to Target to get shampoo. Each one said yes! I made it clear we wouldn’t be buying anything for them and that didn’t matter. I believe we spent almost 2 hours walking around the store and doing everything from looking at toys to visiting the electronics department and the home decor department. Go figure.
Exception.
One exception to this is: All of our grandkids have loved going to the apartment we rent for our visit. We try to rent the same apartment at each visit and they always think it’s great fun to go there.